What if?: Demon Lover

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Demon Lover

Demon Lover

“I can hear her.”

“Don’t! Don’t listen!”

“I can’t help it...”

“Stop! Think about something else.”

‘What else is there? What is there in the world that can compare…”

“Don’t. You remember what happened the last time.”

“Brrrr…yes, yes, you’re right. Hey! Now you’re listening, aren’t you?”


“Yes, you are.”


If I can’t go to her, neither will you.”

You’ll stop me?”

“I will.”

Come to me.

“We could both…”

“Only one can go at a time. You know that. And neither of us is going this time.”


“We don’t belong…”

“That terrifying place…”

“Those cold eyes…”

“Her mouth…”

“Her mouth.”


“No, this is no good. We need to leave. Get out of earshot. Let’s go.”

“Why do we always find ourselves here?”

“Stupidity. Masochism. I said, let’s go already!”


Come to me now.

“Yes! I’m coming!”

“Damn you!”

“I’m already damned! Oooff! Let me go!”

“You’re…not…going…to her!”

“I love her!”

“You can’t love her! Besides, she’s…an abomination.”

“Thanks. You’re right. I—ungh!”

“And besides, she’s mine!”

“Get the fuck back here!”


“Stupid fucker. She wants me. Me!”


“That’s right. See you later.”

At last.

“The cold…I always forget about the cold…”

I’ll warm you.

“No. Please…”.


“How could I…could I beat him like that…for you…”

You do what I bid. So does he. For the winner the spoils.

“Stop…stop touching me…your skin is so cold…did I really say I loved you?”

Hmmm hmmm...

“I could crush you…end it here.”

Be a hero? You’ll do nothing of the sort.

“No…no, I won’t…”

Now back with you. I’ve had my fill. See you next time. Or your friend.

“You’re still here.”

“I was worried about you.”

“Your face has healed nicely.”

“Always does.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Couldn’t be helped. Are you cold?”

“Yes! Freezing. I always forget.”

“So do I. Your lips are blue.”

“Her mouth…”

“Her mouth.”

“I hate witches… the way they summon us, play with us…and Earth is so cold…”

“Come on. We’ll warm you up by the lake.”

I wrote this one a while ago, with vague, misleading descriptions. It was a challenge to depict the physical fighting only using dialogue, as well as the final scene.
Does it work?


Blogger Irrelephant said...

Honestly at first the sort of staccato firing of the dialogue made me want to read it fast, but going back over it slowly helped, and I started to get this sort of Vladimir/Estragon thing going, or Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, where both characters were almost interchangable, not in a bad way. I have found myself doing the same thing with the pair of characters that I envision for my own attempt at this surprisingly tricky trial.

Does anyone else have the feel that it's almost GOT to be two characters, or is it just me?

5:34 PM  
Blogger Giovanna said...

Well, I know I have only two characters. I can't imagine trying more.

I think it works Nancy. The only thing that might make it more clear at that pivitol transition is to maybe say here:

“Thanks. You’re right. I—ungh!”

“She’s mine!”

And besides she mine!, to bring home the point that the other is double crossing.

1:29 PM  
Blogger Nancy Dancehall said...

Funny, I actually though of naming them some variation of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

Good suggestion, Giovanna. Think I'll change it right now.

6:56 PM  
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