What if?: President Attacks Plumber After Last Minute Vegetable Inquest

Thursday, April 13, 2006

President Attacks Plumber After Last Minute Vegetable Inquest

NB Headline generated by my mate's fantastic bit of frivolity. Just click here and then click refresh to see a new headline.

The Sun was going down on a tough day for Trent Corblackson, President of the United States Vegetable Counter-Insurgency Committee. Every day was a tough day for the USVCIC and today was a day so it was tough.

Mulling over this conundrum wrapped in a riddle deep fried in an enigma Trent had little time left for traffic and was shortly knocked down trying to cross a busy Main Street by a stern looking woman.

"Hey" Shouted Trent, from the floor. "If you're going to run me down at least have the Goddamn American decency to do it in a motor vehicle"

"Sorry" said the stern woman, sternly. "I was in such a hurry to get to the Vegetable Inquest that I clean forgot my car."

Quick as a flash Trent leapt to his feet. A Vegetable Inquest he pondered? Why wasn't I informed? There's no time to convene USVCIC now, I must make haste!

Trent believed in thinking with a lot of punctuation.

Commandeering a nearby bicycle by flashing his sprout shaped ID Trent pedalled like the wind towards the USVCIC HQ, where the inquest was surely being held.

With the tall tapered aparagus towers in sight Trent upped his speed to near weak child with a cold levels. He was all set to leap heroically from the saddle when a gush of water spun him around and left him flat on his back in the road for the second time in 5 minutes.

"Adshudisoijsdds?!" said Trent, soggily.

"Sorry bub, jus' adjustin' me hydrant" said a burly plumber, inserting his massive tool into the roadside dog toilet.

And with that, Trent went for him with a carrot.

6 Comments:

Blogger Leesa said...

I love the line: "Trent believed in thinking with a lot of punctuation."

6:21 AM  
Blogger Nancy Dancehall said...

I agree with Leesa -- I also like 'deep fried in an enigma'.

8:16 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

That was awesome, LazyLazy!!!!! I am grinning and hungry for a salad. Good work. I would love to hear more of this story.

10:17 AM  
Blogger LazyLazyMe said...

Well thank you but it was just a bit of silliness.

The next one will be a proper one.

Promise.

2:16 PM  
Blogger Daniel said...

I have to agree with Leesa - loved the line: Trent believed in thinking with a lot of punctuation.

Very funny.

6:05 PM  
Blogger Netai Biswas said...

So I'm about to Plumbing in a new shower in my mobile home. I'm ripping out the old one and not sure about how to plumb in the waterlines to the actual valve. It looks like grey pex pipe so I'm wondering if I need to use copper from the valve to the shower head or if I can use pex. Also do I need to redo the drain or if the new drain will line up with the old drain?

4:00 AM  

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